Let's see, what is going on with our family? A lot, I guess! We have a BEAUTIFUL 6 month old daughter, Emme. She is learning new things every day! We didn't realize how much fun it was to see the world through a child's eyes! Everything from a piece of paper, to the car keys, to the dog chasing her tail absolutely amazes Emme, and it is so fun to see her reaction as she learns new things!!
(Okay, I am going to insert a word of caution here... I am a big fan of the exclamation points and the three dots... So get used to seeing them here!!)
This month we have also been working on our adoption application, a Tastefully Simple adoption fundraiser (let me know if you would like to order), getting our house ready for the home study, and trying to take care of our pretty little Emme!
It's crazy to think about how much our life has changed in the last few years! We were married in July of 2007, and in November we found out that we were pregnant. It wasn't a fun pregnancy for either Trent or me. I was due on Saturday, July 19th of 2008. By the time my last appointment rolled around, I was begging to be induced! We were scheduled to go to the hospital on the 22nd, so I decided to make appointments for a pedicure and a massage on my due date. I never got the chance to enjoy those, because my water broke at 12:30 am on my due date (who knew that she likes to be on time)!
The labor was intense, and my contractions were right on top of each other. I was rushed into the operating room for a c section, and I was cut open in minutes. Trent wasn't with me, so I had to rely on Al (my CRNA) to narrate what was happening. I felt this big GUSH and then silence. It felt like forever before Al leaned over and said "did anyone tell you that they got the baby out?"
Emme Jane Guida was born around 1 in the afternoon on July 19th. Trent was then ushered into the room with the most confused look on his face. He took over for Al, and told me how beautiful our little girl was. I got a quick glimpse of her and then I decided that I deserved a little nap.
After this, my memory is a little hazy. I was sent back to our room, and I kept trying to sleep. But more people kept coming in. They were pushing down on my stomach and it hurt a lot. At first I had Trent and my Mom next to me, but soon they were pushed to the back corner. I heard the doctors and nurses talking about how much blood was coming out and that my blood pressure was around 60/30. They were measuring my blood loss (which ended up being 2/3 of my blood) and trying to get more blood brought up to me in my room. But we were in the middle of a power outage and a "Code Black", so the blood never made it to the room. After 2 hours of them working on me, they took me into surgery and they had to do a hysterectomy to stabilize me.
At 2:30 am on the 20th, I held my baby for the first time in Intensive Care. She was the prettiest baby I had ever seen! It didn't hit me how serious our situation was until I started to meet the doctors and nurses that worked on me. They kept telling me that I was lucky to be alive. After the 5th doctor said this to me, I started to believe it! I don't think I really even cried until the 4th night. I was holding her and I finally figured out that I almost did not get the chance to meet this amazing little baby! Not a day goes by when I see her smile or I wipe her tears away or I rock her to sleep and I thank God to be here with her today.
I am not always so thankful. There were hard times for the first few months. My midwife told me that I would go through a mourning process, and I definitely did (and probably still will). I had days where I was angry, or sad, or just numb. It seemed so unfair. But every time I felt one of those emotions creep in, I had this little girl who showed me that it was all worth it. And I think part of my anger stemmed from the fear of the unknown. Where do we start to learn about adoption? What kind of adoption is right for our family? Should we just concentrate on Emme?
We started to look into adoption, to see if it was for us. We assumed that if we did adopt that we were going to do a domestic adoption. As we learned more about our options, we started to explore international adoption. We went to an adoption fair and were learning about the various programs. When we heard about the Ethiopian Program something just clicked inside of both of us. As we discussed the program more, we decided that this is what God had in store for us.
Which brings us to January 2009 and the beginning of our adoption adventure. We are going to try for a baby girl or possibly a sibling group. So who knows how big our family will be a year from now! We will keep you posted...